


The Substitute Santa

by KATastrofic222



Series: The Substitute Santa [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, M/M, This is fluff, This is sort of inspired by that Santa Claus movie, advance Christmas gifts for everyone, all of the 104th squad are elves, more characters will be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-20
Updated: 2014-12-20
Packaged: 2018-03-02 09:13:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2807249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KATastrofic222/pseuds/KATastrofic222
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What are the chances that Santa Claus is real? What are the chances that he would catch Santa Claus fall off his roof, sprain his leg, and watch him talk to a fucking snow globe? There is no logical explanation. Neither logic or the laws of Physics apply to Santa's Workshop, after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Substitute Santa

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a one shot, but I feel uncomfortable writing extremely long one shots so I decided to split it. I wasn't supposed to post this earlier than Christmas because it's supposed to be a Christmas gift. The lack of extremely tooth rotting fluff compelled me to post this the moment I finished writing it. Sorry about the summary, it's one of those on the spot things xD 
> 
> I usually tag my fics T cause of Levi's swearing, but Eren bans Levi from swearing at one point so there won't be any trash talking (with the exception of his internal monologue). Anyways, back to the story!

Christmas.

It was the time for cheer. A time to be generous. To share and care. To love and be loved. For Levi, it was just another day for work, work, and more work. The only difference is that he's working at home. Not that he minded, it was better than having to meet a certain pair of shitty glasses in person.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand...

It was Christmas once again and Levi didn't give a fuck. As mentioned earlier, he was busy pulling an all nighter because of work. There were a couple of interns who didn't know shit so here he was, fixing all of their mistakes. Did he mention it was his birthday today? Of course not. Why would he? He's got more important things to do than drown himself in booze on the day the world first saw him buck naked in the hospital room. Important things like finishing his work.

It was a little after 1 am did he decide to take a break. He got out of his position from the couch and stretched before making himself a fresh cup of tea. Those people who are currently screaming and shouting at him for drinking tea instead of hot chocolate for Christmas can go fuck themselves.

He went to his living room, bringing along a pot of freshly brewed tea and his teacup, and sat on the sofa facing his great, big window. The crackling flames from the fireplace behind him was the only noise in the house. He had been yelling a lot the past few weeks(no thanks to those interns), so licorice tea should help soothe his throat. Now’s the perfect time to drink it since it’s more effective during winter.

He rested his back against his sofa, admiring the drifting snow as he took another sip of his tea. He froze after catching a glimpse of red fall from the sky which was then followed by a ridiculous outburst.

"HO-HO-WOAAAH!!!"

"What the fuck?" He rested his teacup on its respective saucer before making his way towards the window. He mentally smacked himself for doing something so stupid considering the fact that it was dark as hell outside. His curiosity getting the best of him, he grabbed a random winter coat from his closet and headed for the door to grab his winter boots from the shoe rack. With a flashlight in hand, he left the warm comforts of his home.

He didn’t know what he was expecting to see when he left his house. But it certainly wasn’t an old man dressed up as Santa Claus. He didn’t realize he was spacing out until the old man called out to him.

"Excuse me young man, I hope you don’t mind helping an old man up? It seems like I sprained my leg after that nasty fall earlier," he says.

Levi helped the man up and into his home, offering him tea to warm himself up while he treated his bad leg. The old man appreciated the gesture and offered a silent thank you.

"Looks like you won’t be able to walk for a while," he says as he picked up his own teacup. "What’s an old man like you doing out at this time when it’s practically as cold as the North Pole out there?"

The old man chuckled, leaning back on his seat after resting his now empty teacup on the saucer the raven offered him, "I was in the middle of delivering presents, you see. I had temporarily lost contact with my Arch-Elf so I ended up in the wrong house. I was about to get back on my sleigh when I slipped and fell off your roof."

Levi was thankful of his skill in the art of pokerface cause he couldn’t believe what the man had just said. This guy _actually_ thought that he was Santa Claus. He was more delusional than Hanji. The sound of tinkling bells disrupted his train of thought.

"Pardon me, let me answer this."

 _'_ Answer _what,_ exactly?' Levi thought as he watched the man take a snow globe out of his coat, shaking it a little before placing it next to his ear. This man was crazier than he had first thought.

"He--"

_"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, ZACHLAY?! I’VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU FOR AN HOUR NOW! WE’RE GETTING BEHIND SCHEDULE! WHY WEREN’T YOU ANSWERING YOUR GLOBE?!"_

"Calm down Eren--" the man gets cut off once more.

_"Calm down?! These presents won’t deliver themselves, Mister Claus!"_

Levi stared at the man's exchange with the snow globe in disbelief. Mister Claus? Delivering presents? There's no way he could be the real deal. Hell, he wasn't even real to begin with! Who was he talking to anyway?

He lost track of their conversation afterwards, far too confused to register what they were saying. He snapped out of his daze when the other man sighed, tucking the snow globe back in his coat before shifting his direction back to the raven. "I’m sorry about that. That was my Arch-Elf earlier."

"I...see."

"Eren wants me to go back to the North Pole," he says. "But with this leg of mine, I’m afraid I won’t be able to get on my sleigh on my own. I was hoping if you would help me one more time, Levi?"

Levi froze. He never told this deranged old man his name over the course of finding him in his yard and bringing him in his home. "How do you...know my name?"

"Ho-ho! Well that's because I'm Santa Claus!"

 

************HO-HO-HO*************

 

"Mind telling me what's going on here, Santa?"

"Ho-ho-ho! I believe I have already told you about my little accident earlier, Eren," Santa replies, ignoring the fact that his Arch-Elf was glaring at him with all his might.

"Not that!" Eren gestures at the raven haired man who was currently supporting Santa from where they were standing. "What's this man doing here?"

"He helped me on my sleigh, of course! I couldn't have possibly returned to the North Pole without his assistance."

"Zachlay," Eren said in a stern manner. "He doesn't look like he wants to be here."

"It's because I don't," Levi murmured. "Look, I don't know what's going on right now, but I need to go back. I still have work to do."

The Arch-Elf let out an exasperated sigh, gesturing at a plush looking couch. "Please leave him there. Let’s talk somewhere else, is that alright with you?"

The raven thought for a bit before nodding. The Arch-Elf(who seemed a bit too tall to be an elf) might just be the only decent person to talk to right now. The brunette smiles for the first time during the whole ordeal. He left the task of nursing Santa’s sprained leg to two elves named Hitch and Marlowe before leading Levi out of the room.

The elf leads him into another room which seems to be like a mini bar. But instead of liquor, it served a variety of sweet drinks but it wasn’t limited to just that.

"Please have a seat," Eren says over his shoulder as he grabbed two mugs from the cupboard. "Care for a drink? We have hot chocolate, coffee--"

"Do you have any tea?"

Levi swore the elf’s eyes sparkled after he mentioned his favorite beverage. "As a matter of fact, we do. My personal recommendation would be licorice tea, partly because it’s my favorite. But also because it’s most effective in the winter and it’s always winter in the North--oh, sorry I’m rambling. So...licorice tea or no?"

"Sounds good." He decided against telling him that he was just drinking that earlier until Santa decided to fall off his roof. A chance to drink the tea(which he never got to finish) again was something he’d appreciate. Eren nods as he starts preparing the tea.

"Licorice tea is good for sore throats. There are quite a lot of troublesome elves here so I almost always end up shouting the whole day," the elf says. "Other than being my favorite, it’s also good for me so..." he shrugs.

Levi simply grunts in acknowledgement as he took in the elf's appearance. He was wearing a light green sweater and black slacks, wrapped around his neck was a long red scarf which was tied into a bow right behind his neck. Its ends swayed with his every movement.

When Santa said Arch-Elf, he had pictured a short and bearded elf wearing grand clothing. Not a teenager clad in a sweater and slacks. At least, he would have looked like an ordinary teenager, if it weren’t for his pointy ears.

"Here you go," the elf in question says, handing him a mug. "I'm sorry for whatever trouble Zachlay has caused you."

"It's fine." A content sigh left the raven’s lips after his first sip. This elf makes great tea.

"I'm sorry for not introducing myself properly earlier. My name is Eren, as you've might have heard from Zachlay, I'm the Arch-Elf," Eren stretches out his free hand with a smile. "And you are?"

"Ackerman. Levi Ackerman," the other replies, giving the elf’s hand a firm shake. "Vice-president of Legion Inc."

Eren nodded as he made himself comfortable in his seat, "I guess it’s about time we start talking about more important matters. Time is of the essence so we best make it quick."

This elf doesn’t beat around the bush.

"The only way to get you back is by Santa’s sleigh," the brunette starts. "I can drive you home safely, but only on one condition."

Levi quirks a brow at that. "Let me hear it."

Eren smiles, but quickly returns to his serious business face, "You help me deliver the presents. If...if just taking you home isn't fair, I'll even help you out with your work to compensate for the amount of time you lost."

That...doesn't sound like a bad deal.

"I guess it's not that bad of a deal," watching the way the elf's face radiated with joy was too hard to ignore. "May I ask why you need me to help, though?"

"While I am a capable driver, someone has to watch over the reindeers while the other delivers. You've met Marco while you were on the sleigh earlier, right? That's what he was doing," Eren sighs. "It would be more convenient for you to watch over the reindeers, but they..."

"Don't trust strangers?" Levi asked.

The elf nods. "Not only that, someone also has to make sure that they don't get distracted or stray too far."

"I see," the raven took one last sip of his tea before placing the now empty mug on the table. "So what you're saying is, you'll watch over the reindeers while I deliver the presents?"

"Yes. Delivering presents is not as easy as it sounds, that’s why I'll be guiding you through a communicator."

"Fair enough," Levi sighs. "What time is it, anyway? The last time I checked, it was half past one."

Eren got out of his seat, chuckling. "Time doesn't work here in Santa's Workshop, but I'm pretty sure it's still half past one."

"Well ain't that convenient?" the raven mumbles as he got out of his seat as well.

"We'll have to be in uniform while on the job, so I'll have you wear one of Santa's coats. I'll have Mikasa guide you to Santa's quarters, we'll meet up at the stables afterwards," the brunette smiled as he opened the door. Levi simply observed the tall elf speak to a shorter one with black hair and a red scarf that matched Eren's.

He snapped out if his daze when he felt something tugging his pants.

"Follow me," the elf, Mikasa, says before walking a few paces ahead. Eren made sure both of them were on their way before going back to his own quarters. It's been a while since he last wore his uniform.

 

************HO-HO-HO*************

 

"You sure this will fit me?" Levi asked as he held a thick pair of red pants in front of him. "I think I'll have to stop working out and binge eat for the rest of my life for it to fit me."

"Positive. It's one size fits all," Mikasa replies, as she held onto one of Santa's many collection of coats.

Levi sighed and went in the bathroom(which was thankfully clean) to change. He didn't know why he was going along with this when he was so sure earlier that this was just one crazy dream caused by exhaustion and sleep deprivation. When did he start believing in these things? He'll never--oh. It fits. He then proceeded to wear the boots that came with it.

Mikasa handed him the coat as soon as he got out. Which surprisingly fit him as well as the pants did. On his head rested the iconic Santa hat, and lastly, he wore the gloves that matched his entire outfit.

The raven haired elf nodded in approval before taking out a little gift box.

"What's that for?" Levi asked, as he eyed the object in question.

"It’s a shortcut," Mikasa replied as she opened the little box. "All you have to do is hop in and you’ll find yourself in the stables."

He stopped himself from questioning the elf considering the fact that she was right about the pants and the coat. If she thinks he’ll fit, then he’ll fit. It turns out size nor the laws of physics applied to Santa’s Workshop.

"You’ll feel a little dizzy during the ride, but you’ll be fine. Take my hand," she offered him her hand. Staring up at him expectantly. Once he grabbed a hold of her tiny hand, she placed her free hand in the box and practically got sucked in along with Levi. To say that he was just a little dizzy was an understatement. He sat on his has place on the floor(which was also clean), waiting for the effects to pass.

"I knew she'd use the shortcut." He turned to look at Eren, who was now clad in what he assumes to be his Arch-Elf uniform. It was a perfect mix of red, green, and gold. Colors that fitted the holiday. From the dark green beret on his head, to his scarf and the festive red of his coat lined with gold, moving on to his dark green pants with golden trimmings, down to his black boots. The way it perfectly hugged his form was simply breathtaking. Wait what.

"You alright?" The elf tilted his head before making his way for the man. "You must be sick, here, take this. Peppermint always helps me cope with nausea."

Levi grunted his thanks before popping the candy in his mouth.

"There’s more where that came from, so don’t be afraid to ask, okay?" Eren flashed him a smile before giving Mikasa a pat on the head for a job well done. He whispered something in her ear which she responded with a nod before going on her way.

"Where's she going?" Levi asked as he stood up.

"Oh, just asked her to go to the control room. Someone has to supervise the others while I'm out," the brunette tilted his head a little before grinning. "You look great."

"You're not bad yourself," Levi eyed the elves who are currently running around the place. "What are we doing here anyway?"

"I'm waiting for Jean, he's a mechanic and an inventor. I had him make you a brand new communicator earlier since Zachlay broke his after the fall," the elf replied as he rocked on the balls of his feet. "How about I give you a short lesson while we wait?"

"Sounds good," Levi nodded.

"Rule number one, always check if the child is asleep. Rule number two, if there are cookies and milk, eat it. The children would be upset if you don't," Eren started as he started pacing in front of the raven.

"Is that why Santa's so big as--"

Eren's hand was instantly on his mouth. "Also...no swearing. Not in front of the others, at least. It would be bad if they start copying you." He let go once Levi nodded in understanding.

"I'll give you the rest of the rules on the way, so...do you have any questions?" Eren asked, taking a few steps back.

Levi tried to ignore the fact that the brunette's hand was soft as fuck. "Actually, I do."

"Ask away."

"Do I have to jump down chimneys and sh--stuff?" The raven mentally patted his back for the nice save.

"Of course," Eren nodded. "If you're worrying about the stains, don't. His clothes are made from special threads that prevents it from getting dirty."

'Not bad,' Levi thought.

"All done, Eren," both turned to look at an elf with ash brown hair who was waving the object in his hand.

"Thanks Jean. Go join Mikasa and the others in the control room. I'll be back late," Eren says as he took the communicator from the shorter elf.

"No problem. Make sure you don't fall off, Grumpy! These things aren't easy to make!" Jean's voice faded as he bolted out the stables. Eren sighed, not exactly in the mood to scold the troublesome elf.

"The sleigh’s over here, follow me."

Levi noticed how all the other elves regarded the brunette with respect. Saluting him with their fists on their chest. While the others went back to their tasks, some would stare at raven with either curiosity or fear.

"You should smile more, they’ll stop being afraid if you do," Eren says, eyes still in front of him.

"It’s not like I’m staying here for good, I’m just doing this so I can go back," the raven replied, pausing right in front of the bright red sleigh. There were still elves tending to the reindeers and stuffing a big ass sack with gifts, so they still have a little more time before take off. "That being said, I don’t really see why I have to make them like me."

The Arch-Elf hums, "I suppose you're right."

"Umm...Eren?" A short blonde elf called, which prompted the brunette to look back.

"Yeah, Christa?"

"Everything's ready!" She beamed. "...except for one thing."

Levi quirked a brow while Eren tilted his head.

"What is it?" The latter asked.

Christa hopped off her place on the sleigh and ran towards the Arch-Elf. "You forgot to tie your scarf again! Want me to tie it for you?"

Eren blinked in bewilderment before crouching down, "I'll leave it to you, as always."

Christa tied his scarf into a bow with skillful precision. Nodding in approval before giving the taller elf a pat on the back. "Now you're all set!"

"Thanks, I can always count on you," Eren grins and pats her on the head before standing up. "Alright everybody make way for the sleigh!"

"Yes, sir!"

Both men got on the sleigh with Eren on the driver's seat. Once all the other elves were out of earshot, Levi leaned closer to the brunette.

"I guess that explains the bow."

Eren briefly stared at him, reducing himself to snickers once he made the connection. "Yeah."

_"Eren, Mr. Levi, we're going to open the gates now. Please get ready!"_

"Heard you loud and clear, Armin," Eren responded to his communicator, looking at the raven from the corner if his eye.

_"Will you be alright? He doesn't know how to drive the sleigh yet..."_

"I'll be the one driving the whole night, don't worry Mikasa."

"I can hear you, you know." Levi eyed Eren as he responded. "Don't you think it's about time we go?"

_"Yeah! Grumpy's right!"_

"That's Mr. Ackerman to you, horsey," the brunette simply ignores Jean’s protests in favor of making sure his seatbelt was secured. Once he was finished, he shifted his attention back to the raven. "You all set?"

"Ages ago. What time do you think it is?" Levi's eyes shone in amusement but his face remained blank as ever.

Eren smiled.

"It's still half past one."

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at describing outfits so much, but you can check out Levi's Santa outfit [here](http://images.halloweencostumes.com/products/6235/1-1/jolly-ole-st-nick-santa-costume.jpg)  
> As for Eren's outfit, it's mostly inspired by Bernard the Arch-Elf's outfit, it's just that I tweaked some parts like the scarf, and his pants. If you have any questions, you can leave it here and I'll try to answer them on the next chapter :)
> 
> Oh! And before I forget, as you read these notes, I am already in the process of uploading Checkmate's Chapter 11 and 12. I would love to post this on Christmas to surprise everyone but I'm going to busy till January because of my birthday, hope you enjoy the updates!
> 
> Advance Merry Christmas!


End file.
